Memories

How many people have told you “I love you”?
Not the kind you hear from a mother or sister, not the kind you hear from a close friend or the ones that are available on social media in wholesale amount. I’m talking about the kind that sincerely and purely comes from the bottom of heart, the one that you have been waiting to hear it for a long time, with a huge fear of never hearing it or losing his love. Or maybe always wondering whether this relationship will get to that point.
People come and go, relationships start and finish, but how many of them actually end up in saying “I love you”. not the unwanted one, the one that you know you’re feeling this huge amount of affection and your heart is blowing up from that heavy feeling but you are afraid of telling it, maybe it’s too soon, maybe you prefer him to say it first, maybe you’re afraid of never hearing it back, but it ends up to be mutual and you finally hear it… “I love you”
Sometimes it happens in a random moment, in the least place you could imagine, while brushing your teeth or reading a book in silence, he just looks at you and suddenly it comes out. He whispers “I love you”…
I’ve been in serious relationships, but only one of them ended up in hearing I love you and I don’t mean just saying it for the sake of the moment, I mean actually saying it while meaning it. I was there lying in the bed, he was still working on some assignment, and I was waiting for him to come to bed to turn off the light. He came to the room, looked at me for a moment and he already knew I am being lazy, That I don’t want to come out of the bed to turn off the light and that’s why I am still reading my book, he touched the light key, smiled at me and said ” I love you” I took my eyes away from the book, laid my eyes on him, I felt the heat in my heart, suddenly it was too much, I smiled back. I didn’t say anything back, I wanted to record this moment in my head, didn’t want to add any other element to the mix. he said “I love you”, that is enough for the memory.
That relationship ended, despite all the love we had in our hearts for each other, as they always say, love is never enough. 9 years have passed since that memory but I still remember that feeling I had in that moment in my mind.I have heard a lot of “I love you”s but none of them is compared with that one.
and this is my kind of love.