I’m drowning again, into my dark place. My dark place looks like a gloomy sunday afternoon in December, sun has already set and snow started, sky is grey and I’m standing alone by the window and absorbing all the coldness. Nobody knows, nobody cares. They would care if they knew, but I’m getting very good at it, very good at hiding, fake smiles and fake “I’m good”. I hide my pain behind jokes and laughs, I’ve learned silence is not the way to hide it. I have even picked up some sarcastic lines to turn the table to them when they ask how am I doing. Listening to Pink Floyd song and I wonder what if you were here.

“How I wish, how I wish you were here
We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground, what have we found?
The same old fears, wish you were here…”

Probably there wouldn’t be any dark place if you where here. I wouldn’t drown. That is the cheesiest line I’ve ever said but that is true. I miss you.